Second Star to the Right

“Sunday, Feb. 26 marked the beginning of the 25th National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.

The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) educates, inspires recovery, and provides comfort to those suffering from eating disorders, and also to the millions of family members and friends who have lost loved ones to a disease that currently affects 90 million Americans. A disease also clouded with misconceptions and societal shame.

With the united goal to remove the stigmas, the shame and false perceptions associated with eating disorders, NEDA is making a bold statement with three simple words this year: “Everybody knows somebody.”

From national events to grassroots and individual efforts the message that eating disorders do not come in one shape or size, are not defined by societal or cultural standards, and certainly not by insurance companies, has taken off.

Unfortunately, too many do not believe those three words, and too many in need of treatment listen to insurance companies who are quick to deny medically necessary treatment.

Many do not fall into a category of anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, or any of the ten other disordered eating terms I could list, but we all know someone.

“Everybody knows somebody.”

Before you continue reading, I would like you to think about the above sentence - ignore any outside noise and the chatter in your head. What do the above three words mean to you? Be honest. Do you believe the statement to be true?  

I am all too aware of the depth and meaning of those three words.  

“Everybody knows somebody” is powerful. And while I was thrilled NEDA chose such a strong and true statement, I was surprised by my own shock. I was even a little scared - I had to accept the reality. Eating disorders are killing millions and they do not present in an obvious fashion. That alone is terrifying, but then to know that most of the people reading this will roll their eyes and say, “Yeah right, I don’t know anyone with an eating disorder,” makes it even more disheartening.

You do not have to be anorexic or bulimic to have an eating disorder. Insecure body image, yo-yo-dieting, compulsive exercise, unhealthy eating, and yes, even over healthy eating all fall into patterns of disordered eating. I know, it sounds like everyone in America has an eating disroder or disordered eating, but there is a line.

I am a mother and a daughter. Like any child, I navigated the “battlefields” of childhood, awkward adolescence, insecure high school moments, and the terrors of college. Unfortunately, I did not navigate the battlefields in a healthy way. Not many do. One of the biggest misconceptions regarding the development of eating disorders and one the media discusses repeatedly, my mother (rarely is a parent the cause) is not the reason I developed an unhealthy relationship with food and body image.

Genetics play a role in a person’s predisposition for the development of patterns of disordered eating, just as genetics put a person at risk for breast cancer and heart disease. However, with eating disorders there are a number of factors, and it is often society that pulls the trigger. Children as young as five are dieting. Elementary school students refuse to eat, quietly purging their lunch if necessary, while others overwhelmed by “pressure” go the other way and eat until they feel numb. One skipped meal, one comment, one purge or binge can be the unintentional beginning of a miserable life trying for “perfect.”

These children are too young, they do not understand the consequences of their actions and honestly, they likely will not talk to you about their insecurities.

Anorexia, bulimia and the many other diagnosed and undiagnosed disorders are like seedlings, taking root at an early age, an age parents do not want to entertain or believe. However as root takes stalk, implanting itself in a warm, inviting place it will eventually flourish just as our children grow and flourish in time. This flourishing root is secretive and quiet, even to the naked eye of a parent, doctor or teacher, until it begins to blossom, inviting our innocent children to inhale the “sweet” scent of its petals.  

That is the first moment our innocent children whisper that first cry for help, aware they need someone bigger and stronger, cognitively aware they are not fat, and should not throw up. On some level they know, whether at nine, eleven or eighteen, that starving, self-induced vomiting, exercising to the point of pain, or binging is a dangerous path that they do not want to enter. As they whisper a cry for help, the root becomes stronger and the flourishing petal silences their voice. If parents, teachers or coaches do not jump at the first sign, these children will either die or live a lifeless life, as eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness, a fact we already know.

Sadly, we all know someone who struggles with food in some fashion. But they may not know, therefore how can we help?

So this week, be brave and either ask for help, confront a friend, or rather than saying something negative about your body (outright or in your head) be an example and say something positive. Eat something you like if you tend to be wary of food. If you struggle with unhealthy eating, make an effort to choose something healthier. If you find yourself “needing” to run, take a day off. 

Listen to your body, I promise it won’t steer you wrong.”

-by Kiersten Barry for Noorwood Patch